Bring Up a Millionaire!

To my mind, such programs as “Read Earlier Than Walk” are not only helpful, but might be harmful.

It is really necessary to teach a child reading skills, as reading is the basis of culture. But how does the desire to teach children reading as early as possible appear? First of all, these are abnormal stereotypes and unhealthy ambitions formed by parents themselves. As a rule, they come from general discontent with their life and their fate. It’s necessary only for us — parents – to show off, to impress our friends, neighbors: ‘My child can read being two years old’. And after that we enjoy people’s amazement, how successful (at least) in home pedagogics we are, how genuine (at least inside your family) the system we use is. ‘Please, tell us how you managed to do that.’

First of all our children will have to feel the recoil from these ambitious errors. The payback will be long and sad for all their life. The payback will be expressed not only as unwillingness and dislike to read, but also dislike to explore that is the most important.

During all our life we are reading, listening to radio and watching TV about genuine children. The child is ten, he graduated from a university! The child is twelve, he wrote a scientific work! Surely, it always impresses, it’s amazing, unusual, and terrific! But who will those children become in the future? What is their fate? Where are the Nobelists and academicians? Where are outstanding businessmen and politicians?

A person’s memory brings out the story of remarkable Mozart. Everybody knows him. He is like a guiding star for many parents. When he was three years old, he started to compose music, «finding notes which love each other». When he was nine he wrote a symphony, at the age of twelve – an opera. But without any apparent reason these parents forget that Mozart and such children as Mozart are exceptions. They are divine exceptions. These exceptions confirm, stress and affirm the rule. At all times such a person becomes one out of the billions. Think about it: one person and billions of other people living at the same time — usual and ordinary people! Among them there are a lot of talented, bright people, but for appearance of a genius, not just a genius but a great genius something greater than just a gift is needed. Primarily it’s history’s demand at a definite stage, turning-point. Demand for the only person, required to accomplish this turning point in this or that sphere. And to make your child such a person, it’s not enough your ardent desire, and your pedagogical gift, and your persistence, all the more your knowledge of intensive training technologies.

Ordinary people call appearance of such people by one word — wonder.

But let’s turn back to ordinary people including usual geniuses. Creativity of geniuses, whichever sphere they work, is peculiar by a feature that impresses your imagination after several hundred of years. It’s enormous degree of internal freedom. This feature is inconsistent with a notion of violence. To ambitious parents’ regrets being a genius has nothing common with reading skills in young age. Analyze biography of Nobelists, and make sure that most of them haven’t passed the exam of super-development, as a rule, even vice versa.

In his childhood Albert Einstein was an ordinary child with late development. Being middle-aged he was modest, plain employee of a small patent agency in Switzerland. If you met him at that period of time of his life, you wouldn’t pay attention to him; you wouldn’t understand that this person is future legend of the ХХ^th century. You wouldn’t understand that some time will pass and his discoveries will make a revolution in science. The ordinary and plain clerk from the small office made a revolution.

Before going to school Leonardo da Vinci wasn’t taught neither reading nor writing. In modern primary and middle school he would be considered a hopeless non-achiever.

Dear parents, I don’t support artificial slowdown of our children’s development, but I would like to draw your attention that it’s necessary to listen to your child and consider his aspirations.

The most important signal for parents should be not their presentation about how and at what age their child should be able to read and write, but his own will and aspiration for reading, mathematics and other sciences.

Psychological and physiologic willingness to except knowledge is expressed in a child’s will, in his apparent interest. It’s the only signal for parents to act.

A Letter To My Own Son.

I want you to read this letter. It was published in an American magazine in the last century. It caused a real gust of comments. More than a hundred years passed, but I’m sure that a lot of people will recognize himself in the author of this letter. I was very impressed by it.

There is nothing easier than to vent your anger and offend a child. He/she is so small and naive to understand our great troubles about them about how to guarantee him/her well off, to feed him/her and educate. There is nothing more complicated than to overcome pride of a great egghead in you and to beg pardon for your unrestraint and stupidity.

There are a lot of books about parental upbringing. But I remember only one phrase: «When you give a birth to a child, be ready that from now on your heart will live separately from your body».

I wish you to be in harmony with your heart!

W. Livingstone Larned

REMORSE OF A FATHER

Listen to me, my son. I pronounce these words when you are sleeping; your little hand is lying under your cheek and curly blond hair has clotted on your wet forehead. Once I slipped into your room. Several minutes ago when I was in a library reading a newspaper, I felt a rush of deep remorse. I came to your bed realizing my fault.

The thing I thought about was, my son: I vented ill-humor on you. I berated you when you were getting dressed to go to school. I told you off for not cleaning the boots. I angrily screamed because you have thrown something of your clothes on the floor.

When we were having a breakfast I also found faults all the time. You spilled tea. You greedily swallowed the food. You put elbows on the table. You laid too much butter on bread. And then, when you went to play and I hurried for a train, you turned back and flourished arm and cried: «Good bye, father!», I frowned and answered: «Square shoulders!»

Then at the end of the day everything started from the beginning. On my way home I noticed you, when you played on your knees. There were lots of holes on your stockings. I humiliated you in front of your friends making you go home. Stockings are expensive — if you had to buy them on your own money, you would be more accurate! Imagine, my son, what your father has said!

Remember, when you came shyly to the library where I was reading. When I glimpsed at you over the newspaper irritated by the fact that you interfered, you stopped near the door at a loss. «What do you need?» I asked angrily.

You said nothing but you jumped at me, gave me a hug and kissed. You strained me in your arms with love which God put in your heart. And then you went away pattering upstairs.

So, my son, soon after that the newspaper slipped out of my hands, I was assailed by awful fear. What has the habit done with me? The habit to find faults — that was the reward to you that you are a little boy. I can’t say that I didn’t love you. The matter is that I expected too much from youth and squared you on my own rule.

There are so many healthy, wonderful and sincere in your character. Your little heart is as big as sunrise above distant hills. It revealed in that spontaneous movement when you jumped at me to kiss before going to bed. Nothing else matters today, my son. I came to your bed in the darkness and being ashamed I bent the knee to you!

It’s not atonement. I know you won’t understand those things if I told you when you get up. But tomorrow I’ll be real father! We will be friends. I’ll suffer when you suffer. I will laugh when you laugh. I will hold my tongue when I’d like to say an irritated word. I will constantly repeat: «He is only the boy, little boy!»

I’m afraid I formed an image of an adult in my thoughts. But now, my son, when I see you in your bed I realize that you are just a child. I demanded too much.

A Sports Child. Sports Education.

Sport is well-directed and cultural exercises. It’s a skill to bear enormous moral and physical strain. It’s patience and powerful capacity-building. It’s a child who should choose a kind of sport. Only genuine interest in training can make a little child to give-it-all during training and competitions. If your child doesn’t become a world champion or even a region champion, but he will get necessary hardening, required to initiate inner growth.

Our body is the temple of the soul. When there is something wrong with our body, we can’t fully enjoy the life, whatever moral, smart and talented we are. A thread to our healthy, our body can suddenly destroy our success in life — wealth, art, fame, carrier, family, love.

Thinking about the role of sport in life of a modern man, it’s essential to remember that our body has been forming during five million years before it resumes the present appearance. Does a man move enough in modern world?

In recent two-three hundred years the privilege of making physical exercises is delegated to machines. Owing to technological development most people stopped doing necessary muscle exercises. It’s understood that the organism couldn’t re-form and evolve for such a short period of time. Judging our physical abilities we are the same people of the Middle Ages, but living conditions are absolutely different. In cities people have nothing to do after a working day. People sit at work and then they sit at home on a sofa. It’s no wonder that in recent fifty years heart attack, prostatitis, ostreochondrosis and other illnesses of inactive life have become so young. It’s no wonder that in recent times it’s said that men are feminizing and lots of them are lost in choosing sex orientation.

What can a person oppose mechanic civilization to keep normal functioning of organism and self-development as a personality? What is it necessary to do that our body won’t fail in moments of extreme exertion? What should we do to make it a plentiful source of energy and self-confidence?

Surely, we can’t leave cities and move to the country, get back to natural manner of agriculture and its rough labour. What should we do?

I recommend sports activity. Every person requires it and children first of all. It’s impossible to bring up a healthy child without physical exercises.

But small part of what sport can give you is help to form you and your child beautiful, healthy and harmonious body. The most important task is to develop your child's spirit, his/her combativity. You can do nothing here without sport. Your child can be very smart and talented, but if he/she has no will to victory, goal achievements, healthy competition, then all these talents aren’t worth much. Sport helped me to consider a failure constructively. A failure means that you haven’t taken into account something during training, and you should correct it before the next competition. Just after the failure you take a sheet of paper and a pen and write down all the mistakes and gaps. Just in this moment, you get stronger. Just in this moment of failure you learn the most important lesson and experience the most powerful growth in your life.

Scientists proved that development of our intelligence is directly relevant to motion. Work of gracilis muscles of child’s fingers affects on speech development and investigative brain function. As a rule, agile and cheerful child explore the outer world more actively, show his/her talents earlier. Such children become innovators who are able to bring new ideas to this world.

Children who were engaged in different sports activities from the early childhood are focused on gaining success more than others.

I’d like to stress once again those positive characteristics that children assume going in for sports.

SKILL OF SETTING AN AIM.

SKILL OF ACHIEVING AN AIM.

RESISTANCE TO FAILURES.

SKILL OF COMMUNICATING IN A GROUP.

ENDURANCE.

SKILL OF WORKING HARD AND TAKING IN STRIDE LOADING.

PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT AND HARDENING.

WILL TRAINING.

These are the characteristics that life requires from us every day. Possessing these characteristics your child comes to the adult world and he is prepared to lots of problems that he is able to solve.

Bearing of a Happy Person.

There are four important subjects that are necessary to be taught in each school and kindergarten. It’s not foreign languages, oratory and not even computer science or logics. Four main subjects, subjects of great success in life, are called:

The first subject is «Happiness»

The second subject is «Confidence»

The third one is «Positive thoughts»

And the fourth, the most important is «Bearing of a happy person».

When our children start to learn these four important subjects, our world will change rapidly. Imagine, only in two-three generations the whole world can be changed. It’s possible. None of the most powerful and human religions didn’t manage to do that!

Why do children of the whole world need to know these things? The reason is that this knowledge defines the whole life journey of a person.

What is a bearing of a happy person? Scientists define that when two people are talking to each other, words themselves contain only 7 % of information. 38 % fall at a quality of our voice and volume of our speech. The most important component is non-verbal communication, it covers 55 %. This is the language which speaks our body: gestures, a smile, a posture, a bend of the head, position of the hands and a bearing.

If only an old wise man had told me about that earlier, possibly his observations would do much for me. Having experienced that by myself, I managed to work out reverse interrelation by the same trial-and-error learning. Now I’m proud and absolutely generous to share with you my knowledge which, unfortunately, is not taught at any university in the world. It is proven by the most reliable way — by years of practice.

The point is that our body is not only a natural communicator, our interpreter in communication with other people. It’s also your invaluable helper in mastering of a secret how to harmonize your spirit. When talking to a person you influence him by means of your body. Your body also influences your own spirit, your inner world and your health.

Have you learnt impact of our body on us and our superconscious in school? Is there such a subject as our bearing, our smile, expression of our eyes? It’s impossible to be absolutely healthy without mastering these secrets. A person can’t reach a state of entire happiness without this knowledge! After all precious moments that are sense of our life can happen more often in our life. It’s necessary to present to yourself these wonderful and unusual gifts that every person deserves! We are all different. Only idiots can divide people into good and bad ones. We are the way we are: we all are good, and we all are bad. But the thing we are similar in — the Chinese, Americans, Frenchmen, Africans – is our body language. If you turn out to be in New York where millions of people live from different parts of the world, and you see a man prostrated in grief or a sick person, you’ll understand that this person feels bad and he is unhappy. If you see a person who goes like a breeze on a Pekinese street, the fact that you don’t speak Chinese will not prevent you from understanding that he is a happy person. Body language doesn’t distinguish nationalities or confessions. The body, physiology of our body (physiology is a science about our body) works absolutely in the same way.

I can surely say that: having taught your child to walk straight-backed and with high chin, to look ahead brave, you teach him to influence other people by his bearing, by his look, which means to influence yourself and your fate. Now when you know that, ask yourself a question: among whom do you want to be? Among whom do your children want to be? Do you want to be among beautiful, pride, happy and healthy people? Or do you want to be among underdogs that wander with dull shoulders and sad expression of faces? I think the answer is evident.

Gaining Success at the Young Age.

Let’s start from you. It’s necessary to be a confident person to be an example for your child. It’s never late to start your own way to success.

How old your child is — five or fifty yours old, it doesn’t matter. At any age it’s essential to hear wonderful and inspiring words. At any age it’s vital for him/her that he/she is believed in. People expect from him/her exceptional, great and glorious deeds. Especially it concerns future men, who are intended by the Nature itself for the role of history engine, though men are more vulnerable than women. During his/her life a person experiences failures and collapses. But when in these moments there is a person who will say: ‘I am sure you’ll manage to do that. You will obviously come through!’, he/she will recover from a failure sooner and he/she will make really something great.

Unfortunately, we underestimate meanings of words. But they can be great motivation to achievements. It’s clearly understood by forward-thinking parents. From young age they make their children believe that they are the best. And they really become the best — in art, politics or any other field. Each person has a talent. The most important is to find it out in time and set your child on a right path.

There are opposite examples. Underconfident people transfer their fear of society to their children. They often set unachievable goals and when the child, as parents expected, doesn’t cope with the task, they abuse him. Parents achieve their goal — they assure their children that the society rejects them, they are unsound and they can do nothing with that. Tell your child one hundred times that he/she is a fool, a simpleton, an idiot, a coward, and you will reap the fruits of your words.

The first rule for parents, I would call, is that they have to tell hundred of times a day words of admiration, words of setting your children for success and achievements. It’s so easy to make your child happy.

Thus by mighty and beautiful words we are constantly creating an image of a beautiful and confident person in a subconscious of our kid or an adult child who is forty-fifty years old. Don’t pay attention to any objections of your child, teachers or neighbors. You tell him just the same: ‘You are confident; you are strong, good-looking and incredibly talented person!’

Deliver training with your child using this remarkable formula:

I BECOME MORE CONFIDENT EVERY HOUR!

I BECOME MORE CONFIDENT EVERY DAY!

I BECOME MORE CONFIDENT EVERY YEAR!

Repeat these phrases with your child as often as you can. As often as you can make your child play this game with pleasure and repeat this magical mantra. Considering formation of confidence through the category of words, there is absolutely direct dependence. As often you child tells ‘I become more confident every minute’, the more confident he is. It is absolutely direct link.
The second way to develop confidence in your child is surely a bearing. Do all that you can to make your child walk straight-backed and with a high chin. It’s more important than you can imagine that. Bearing of a confident person is an instant change of chemical composition of your blood, mental change, and change of your metabolic memory, even change of hormone flow. It’s a scientifically proven fact. Your child should walk as a confident person. He/she should walk as a winner, as Napoleon, Caesar. Through bearing we affect our subconscious, our inner world. Moreover, a bearing affects on how our child communicates with other children and adults. It’s very important that other people consider your child a confident, unusual and strong person.

And the third rule is thoughts. Thoughts are material. Negative thoughts attract failures. Positive and clear thoughts attract success. You should control information flow to make your child confident person rather than negative thoughts destroy his/her destiny, his/her mind. You should read together books about heroic deeds, about people who overcome all difficulties. You should read stories about great people. By these examples we strengthen his/her belief in human powers. Look at your child while you are reading about heroes. How his/her eyes are glowing, how he/she is straining as if he/she is making his way to an enemy’s camp, as if he/she is riding the prairies! Mentally he/she is. Absorbing this information, subconscious of a kid remembers this thought way as if he/she was doing it by him/herself. You can make sure in that by reading adventure books. Your pulse is quickening, your breathing is becoming irregular — these are the singes of true feeling about the heroes! Just imagine what children are feeling taking into account their infinite imagination!

Even playing with a child we should create an image of a lion, a panther, an image of a strong princess, rather than a little frog, a little mouse or a bug. I don’t like when parents call their child ‘my dear little mouse’ or another little fearful animal. You’d better call your child and form an image of a winner using such word as ‘my little lion, my little bear, the king of beasts, you are my brave, you have brave and strong heart’.

Life is a long test. It is a succession of various tests. Life is a long-term ascent to great Olympus of happiness and wealth. If you train confidence in your child, he/she will grow up stronger than he/she is by Nature. Sooner or later somebody stronger will appear. Sooner or later life will present him/her tests that will deliver a fatal blow to his/her confidence.

Train him/her now, increase his/her margins of mental safety, noble qualities. Let us be honest with ourselves. We live not in the golden age, when people are equal to gods. Nowadays in our society there are evil, mean, lying people among senior managers as well as among your classmates, teachers, colleagues. They react darkly on honesty, sincerity and talent. As a philosopher said, one can recognize a genius by how mediocrity rises in arms against him. The louder the jackals are yawling, the stronger the tiger that is going to hunter. But the tiger doesn’t pay attention to this yawl, he follows and catches up a target.

Your child and you will need a lot of forces to reach your target. You will need much confidence to struggle through difficulties. You will need moral stamina to fulfill your plans.

I hope you understand now what confidence is.

A Source of Strength is Pride.

Pride is one of the most important sources of strength. Pride is a quality of a character, of a soul that differentiates a free person from a slave. Pride is that makes you meet all the difficulties and time after time get up even being knocked down.

Pride has nothing common with arrogance or haughtiness. I’m talking about real pride, about honor, human dignity, fundamental feature of each intelligent personality. Why is it so important to develop pride in your child?

The reason is that there is no personality without this quality. Suppression of an abiding desire to keep dignity and deprival him of pride means upbringing of a disturbing and flawed person who is doomed to onerous experience, indignity and surrender.

All the parents want their child to be smart and careful. On the other hand we want them not to retreat from difficulties, scoundrels and injustice. Pride is a great social value. The notion of altruism that comes from it makes society move to searching for appreciated values.

How to develop pride in a child? And what to do the parents who noticed that their child is not so brave and courageous as they want him/her to be?

Fist of all we should realize which sets we give to our kid. If it is a set for personal safety, individual survival «in spite of everything», we are risking to raise a weak person. Such a child will never defend another person. He/she will never be a head officer or a leader. Moreover, he/she will prefer to remain in the background. He/she will doubt about his abilities. A failure or a breakdown will become a disaster for him/her. A mockery is a subject to heart-searching. Need to persist in opinion for him/her is to reject his/her beliefs, any struggle.

I have no doubt that each parent’s dream is to bring up a happy and realized person, pride and self-confident personality. Our mission is to prescribe them for activity, struggle, and defense their opinion, in spite of a possible defeat. Only those people succeed whose personal traits harmoniously combine with prescriptions, character and positions worked out by parents. I’d like to underline that preserving your individuality initially is inherent to every personality. Nature itself determined that it will happen in struggle with other individualities, prescriptions of other people and society. That’s why we should understand that we have to develop this wonderful feeling – pride in our child. We have to support positive esteem and to help our child to hold in esteem to him/her.

Let’s assume that your child came home with the broken nose. What will careful, but not forward-looking parent do in this case? He will swear at the child, tell him not to enter the fray, shame and blame him. What will a wise person do in this case? First of all he will share with the child his emotions. Then he will try to found out the reason of the fight. If he was right, the wise parent will support his little man and approve his courage. Doubleness and hesitation of a parent is a blow to a child’s dignity. That’s why it’s so vital to a parent to be proud person, to encourage this great quality in him.

Pride is a synonym of freedom. Slaves can’t be proud. Cowards can’t be proud. Mean people who humiliate others can’t be proud.

Pride is a synonym of strength, leadership and success.

Talent. A talented child.

Looking at his/her child each thoughtful parent asks him/herself a question: «Does he/she have a talent? Does he have it? In what sphere and how to open it?» There is another position. The most important in it is to take care of your child, feed him in time, to buy him clothes and shoes, and whether a talent appears or not — it’s not our business. A child will get older and choose independently his path in life.

According to common considerations, a talented child is a child who plays piano as long as he/she is able to seat straight-back. It’s a child who writes great formulas as long as he/she is able to hold a pen. Talent is considered to be an exception from a rule. It’s given by Nature only to chosen children, to one from a million. The others can stay calm and don’t worry about that. Such parents think: if you are an ordinary person — an ordinary worker, your granddad was a worker and your ancestors were not particularly bright people, then where do prodigies of Nature come in your family from?

I can tell you that it’s the most harmful stereotype in parental upbringing.

Really, there are children who showed their gift in early childhood. For example, being eleven or twelve years old, they graduate from school, being 15 years old they are Doctors of Philosophy, or being a schoolboy/girl, they made sums, that can’t be solved by adults. However practically early demonstrations of a talent won’t confirm in the future life in most cases. Few of these young geniuses become outstanding personalities, who are able to use advantages of young start. Fame ruins most of young geniuses. Having grown up, they become conceited egoists who wait for former adoration. But they are not able to show real considerable achievements. Moreover, they appear to be absolutely non-adapted to adult life. The reason is they didn’t face difficulties and they don’t know how to cope with them.

On the contrary there are a lot of cases in history when a person, whose abilities were underestimated, became a prominent figure. A lot of such names will stay put in the human history.

Let’s have a look at a person who has to face great difficulties and act contrary to the whole world to have the right to do what he/she wants.

Great Beethoven was called a mediocre student by his teacher.

The creator of the most wonderful cartoons in the world, Walter Disney, was dismissed from the post of a newspaper artist by the reason of «lack of talent».

Michael Jordan, the greatest sportsman, wasn’t taken to a school team because of lack of abilities.

Einstein began to talk being four years old. Till the age of nine, people around considered him a retarded child.

Thomas Edison was considered a disabled child.

In most cases these people managed to overcome all the difficulties due to support of their relatives, their parents’ belief in future success.

But I’m more than sure the first and the most essential condition in child’s upbringing it’s a careful and solicitous attitude to his personality.

We don’t have the right to dictate a child. We don’t have the right to deprive a child of his calling whichever ridiculous and absurd it seems to us. On the contrary, even if you are sure in your child’s gift, forced and exploitative attitude to him/her might do harm.

Only self-realization of a person is able to present him/her a reason to live and to make him/her happy. It doesn’t mean when it happens, how old he/she is. He/she can find his path being five or forty five years old. Bu it’s for sure that opening of a talent will happen.

Paul Gauguin was a bank clerk. He had three children. And he was the owner of a big house. But the way of life and respectable living made him unhappy. He decided to make a desperate step: he left his family and his work placement at thirty years old. Gauguin went to Paris and then to Tahiti. He lived in a common hut being in great necessity. But due to that fact the world has seen remarkable combination of colors and lines. Gauguin became one of the most famous impressionists and he laid the foundation for the pictorial art of the XX century.

Is it any use in judging about presence or absence of a talent according to our imperfect standards of educational system, opinions of critics and your own limited experience and common notion?

Not all the people are destined to become parents and to bring a new life to the world. According to statistics twenty percent of married couples in the world do not have children. By any reason God doesn’t give a possibility to see their continuation, to try unique feeling of birthing a new life. Each person is unique. Nature has chosen him/her out of three hundred million of possible genetic combinations. The most important task of every parent is to take a divine gift in a good part and to do all possible to help him/her to realize it.

Remember, there is not a single untalented or unable child in the world. There are careless parents.

Confidence and Self-esteem.

Confidence is a core of our life, a mighty base of our success.

“I was always sure and it gave me an advantage over all mankind” – these remarkable words were said by grand general Napoleon.

Most people think “When I become a minister or a governor, I will be very important. People will start to respect me. Then I’ll be more confident”. Some people think “When I have a million of dollars, I’ll be absolutely confident person. I make a precarious living and I don’t even know if I have money to feed my children tomorrow; that’s why I’m not sure in the next day. When I become a multimillionaire, I will be very confident person”.

Let’s skip these stereotypes and think in another way.

Rich people can also be diffident. They often face various problems (tax inspections, competitors; they are afraid of being poor; they are afraid of being robbed by their own wives; they suspect everybody in having sordid motives). These problems prevent them from being happy.

What conclusions can we make from that?

Confidence has nothing common with power, money and fame.

Confidence is a harmony between you and the world and it’s connected only with the world perception of a person.

Today you are a minister, tomorrow you are an unemployed. Today you are a rich person and tomorrow you are a poor man. Everything can change in every moment of your life.

There is a little secret. Each person can make a fresh start and start to build a new life.

You can train your confidence as you train your muscles. You‘ll see the result very soon.

Confidence is a quality that is given from birth. Someone has more confidence, another person has less. But training our confidence we can make ourselves confident people.

The most important is how much time you spent training this quality.

Let’s take an example and consider how confidence helped in this situation.

Great leader Julius Caesar, landing with his army on the British shore before a decisive battle, he accidentally tumbled.

At those times people believed in signs and had different superstitions. But self-confident Julius Caesar understood how to find a way out. Having got up, he said: “I embrace the land – this land will be conquered by me. Luck and victory are waiting for us”. His warriors cheered up and won that battle. On this simple example we see how words of the confident person saved the situation.

A confident person makes a plus out of a minus, a victory out of a failure. A confident person finds a way out from any situation. Remember, it’s vital to turn grief into joy, defeats into victories in our everyday life.

Always feel sure and make your self-confidence perfect.

Our Small Future

Children are born already having a great experience of the past and personality traits, abilities that are given absolutely accidentally. Somebody says that genes define all our life. Surely, they define. The question is to what degree?

I’ve got a letter - "How do you think I should handle a situation, if a child tells me “I wish I had another mother?" And I recalled the situation when once my little son told me (3 or 4 years old), on my remark: "I’ll go out and I’ll find a bad mother that will allow me to do bad things!"

Dear readers, I would like your children to be happy and turn out to be in this situation. Let’s define what happiness is. Millions of people giving answer on the question “What is happiness for you?” will answer in different ways. Each person will have his/her own definition. But all people will name important components of this beautiful state. First of all, it’s health, welfare, wealth of a soul, love, friendship. These words are understandable for everyone in the world. A country and a continent don’t mean anything for definition of happiness. Sick people suffer in the same way. Poor people live badly. But a man who is happy will feel good even in a desert or jungles. Longevity is also an important component of happiness. It’s bad when a person is smart, beautiful and rich leaves this world at young age. We want long and productive life for our children. One of the wishes to a Chinese emperor was the following “We wish you to be in good health one hundred times of one hundred years!” We work, make money to furnish your children with all necessary things. We often stint ourselves to have a possibility to gladden our children. We leave the most tasteful things to them. We try to create the best conditions for them. It seems we do everything to make our children happy.

What do we have in result? What do we make wrong as parents? Why do most of our children become unhappy people having grown up?

Let’s suggest that our life journey is a way of a ship in a shoreless ocean of life. A final destination is a land of happiness. We should come to this land. We should live on this beautiful land. And our children should also come to their land of happiness. We teach them to overcome storms, to swim against the stream, to be strong and smart. We are doing our best to make them come to this beautiful land of happiness. The realities of life are that 90% of people will never come to this land. It’s easy to deliver a child. Nature takes care of that. But the main task of each parent is to bring up a child, to make him happy so that you can enjoy his laugh, joy and successes being old. If we really want to help our children to be healthy, successful and happy, first of all we have to confess that modern methods of education and experience rendering, methods of our children’s preparation to real life are not perfect.

We teach our children to be very effective in life. But we miss the most important – where to go.

Each child is an invaluable gift. It’s a part of your body and soul. And you have to do your best to make him/her happy, healthy and wealthy. Only you can set your child on the right track taking into account his/her interests.

An aim. It’s the one that defines success of a man. An aim of your child can be not very great as receiving of the Nobel Prize, becoming a famous musician etc. But we have to show our child that in spite of his occupation in life he has to move to his main and wonderful aim, his happiness. The main task is to form an exact image in subconscious of a child. How can we do that? It’s very easy. It’s necessary to change proportion among stating, understanding of an aim and ways of its achieving in the process of education. Our brain has an enormous potential. Our task is to open and use it. It’s necessary to set out an aim to a child and teach him/her to set aims by him/herself.

You are the person who can do it by talking with your kid. What formulas can you use for setting an aim?

1. An aim is the most important teacher that makes us read necessary books, be friends with successful people and make right decisions.

As long as a man has a definite aim, it enters our subconscious. It’s the one that leads a man helping him to choose ways of its achieving. Whatever the life is, but when green light is on, a man will try to achieve an aim having exact coordinates, knowing where to go and using all possible methods.

In the most difficult moments of your life it seems you are exhausted, but everybody wonders where from these bursts of energy are, where does this power go from to work 24 hours a day and to feel energetic. As long as you have an aim, it gives you energy, it inspires you.

If a child is not ordinary, and such children are not in short supply, society makes him/her a social misfit. A child takes it to heart: why he differs from others. He doesn’t keep up with the class; he is behind other children of his/her age. That’s why he/she has a label on and only a strong person will be able to get rid of it. But as you know there is no unchangeable weather and constant routine, each person has his own way of life, perceptual speed. There are no two similar kids and there won’t be such children.

Let’s remember about Einstein. He spoke very poorly till he was 4 years old. He was considered to be a mentally disabled child till he was 7 years old. However be became a great scientist. His portrait is a symbol of modern science, a symbol of a genius. Where are his classmates? Who knows their names? What did they do for our planet? There is no answer, but everybody knows Einstein.

Setting an aim is the only way to make impossible real. When a little girl was made a diagnosis that she wouldn’t be able to walk, the only people who believed that she would walk were her parents. She learned how to walk and then how to run. In 1980 Wilma Rudolf became three times running champion. Be the first and the main coach for your child. Become the one who shows the right path of life. Your efforts will be rewarded. We should be serious about our thoughts and thoughts of our child. Thoughts are material. Bad thoughts attract failures and illnesses. Good and positive thoughts attract luck and happiness. I know that there is a principle in fates of successful people: they think up their success. Any act starts from a thought about it. That’s why the most important purpose of parents is to create a beautiful image of their future. Let it be a fairy-tail. It’s necessary to help our children control their thoughts, wind them up for a victory, even if you are on the edge of survival. Pay as much attention as you can to the dreams and aims of your child! Make him/her more confident. And repeat more often: “You are strong, you are unique, you are talented, unusual, and you are the most beloved child in the world!” Your child is able to achieve absolutely every purpose when he/she believes in it. Yes, it’s very complicated, but you don’t need any material means for that. You need faith, a dream and desire to help him/her! You can help your child create a bright image of the future that will take him out from negative reality to the future! Think up everything you want. But do your best to make him/her believe in his/her dream. You should do the uttermost to make your child repeat one thousand times: “I will be successful, rich and happy man/woman”, and you will help him/her. We should struggle for the future of our children!

Loving mums and dads often drive rusty nails in the form of bad words in the future life of a child not even making anything of these words. They draw more attention to a tone with which to speak out these words – tone of caress, love and concern. But…words are the cloth of our life. Negative words are “time-delay bombs which parents lay by their own hands under the base of their child’s life”. Words are seeds from which our thoughts and sprouts of our fate are grown up. That’s why you should repeat more often: “I get stronger every minute; I get stronger every hour, I get stronger every day, I get stronger every year!” The word «stronger» can be changed by such words as “more confident, more successful, happier, and healthier”. Pronounce them with your child hundreds of times. It’s necessary to be a fan of success and healthy life. There is one more exercise – crossing out bad words. Take a piece of paper and write from the left the words-killers (illness, failure, fear, death, cowardice, pain), and from the right—the words of success (strength, love, confidence, wisdom, beauty, friendship, health, happiness). And cross out with your child the words that kill the future of people. The most vital is to fix in your conscious that it’s unacceptable to use these negative words. You can create the fate of your child just with simply words.

It’s necessary for children to perceive the world thought success. That’s why it is important to read stories about people who were successful in all spheres. Such stories inspire and help to find forces to achieve realization of your own plans.

At any age it’s necessary to hear beautiful words; at any age it’s essential that people believe in him/her. If there is a person who will tell you: “I believe that you will manage to do that. You can surely get your wish!” This person will recover from a failure faster and make his dream real. Forward-thinking parents should wind their children up that they are the best. They really become the best. Parents have to pronounce words of admiration, words of setting for success every day.

Life is a long test. So you should train your children now. Accumulate stock of internal strength and noble qualities. You and your children should make lots of efforts to achieve your aim. You will need much confidence to force your way in life! Let’s start from you. You should exemplify your child. You should be a confident person. It’s never too late to start your way to success!

A Streak of Bad Luck

Their creed is: “Everything that does not kill me makes me stronger”. A strong man takes any test and failure as a step to growth.

“During my career I missed more than nine thousand times. I lost more than three hundred matches. Twenty nine times I was trusted to do a prayer to make my team a winner – and I missed. I faced defeat again and again. That’s why I’m a champion!” There words belong to a greatest sportsman of the times, a legendary man, Michael Jordan, a basketballer. He earned about five million dollars during his career. It’s the person who is an idol of young people of the world.

All over the world successful, rich and healthy people have the same attitude to troubles of life and failures.

Weak and poor people also resign to bad luck in the same way. A failure is a judgment, bad luck. Born in wrong time, in a wrong country, in a wrong place, got wrong education. Any pain kills them. Any failure makes a weak person, weaker in all attitudes – in spiritual, physical, moral and mental. Facing a difficulty, he/she feels fear. If we knew from the beginning that the right attitude to failures is a key to glory, happiness and wealth, surely we would live in another way.

We can’t have our time over again. But we can change life of our children and grandchildren. It’s very simple – it’s just necessary to teach them to behave toward troubles and trails in the right way.

A history of failures.

When he was fourteen, he quitted school.

He became a farm worker …….. he hated it.

He was a big O ……. he hated it.

He joined the army ……. he hated it.

He tried to be a smith….. he hated it.

He became a tallow-pot ….. he was dropped.

He read law …… he quitted.

He sold insurance policies …… a misfortune.

He sold tires ….. a failure.

He put across …. He stopped.

He opened a filling station …… a misfortune.

At last he was a chef and a bottle-washer in a restaurant in Kentucky. He was doing all right till a new highway bypassed their restaurant. Time passed – he was an old man. He got a first support check. It was only 94 dollars. It was difficult to survive on this money, but this man breaks new ground on it. His name was colonel Harland Sanders, and his business was “Kentucky Fried Chicken”.

Today everybody knows this trademark. After “McDonald’s” “Kentucky Fried Chicken” is the second large empire in the sphere of catering. Few people know how it was created. Being left with his pension and poverty, colonel Sanders asked himself a question: “What can I give people to make them pay me money?” Thinking over it lots of days, he remembered that he knew a secret – a wonderful recipe of chicken cooking. A good idea came to his mind: if he signs a contract with a restaurant according to which in exchange of the recipe a restaurant will make him moderate provisions, he will be able to make some additional money. At first sight, the idea was absurd. In the first restaurant people had a good laugh at him and they said: “You are crazy! Who needs your recipe?” In the next restaurant he was also flagged. He was in 1100 restaurants, before he signed the contract.

Tell me please, if your children were brought up by the examples of great businessmen and politicians, such as Soichiro Honda, Abraham Lincoln, Henri Ford, would they be stopped by the first failure? If only from morning till night our children would learn life of outstanding sportsmen, politicians and on real stories work out the right attitude to failures, right attitude to fall! Can you imagine how the world would change?

Only confidence and faith in your success is sometimes the only weapon at struggle with the shifts and changes of life. But it’s the one that can be an instrument and helps a person to turn over the world – to make a failure in a victory. Think over and make your child think about it (present him the future!), – pay attention to that how in different spheres people became great just because they had the right attitude to failure.